Last Friday I took two midterm exams. I haven't gotten either exam back yet, but one of my teachers posted the grades online. I made a 73 on my American Lit exam.
I can't imagine what I did that was so wrong that I made such a low grade. I thought I would make a solid B. I studied for this test, wrote pages of notes, came up with stupid rhymes to remember the publication dates, and all I got was 73. I'm extremely disappointed in myself.
If I hadn't tried, I could write this off as me just being careless. But I prepared myself for this test, and still did absolutely shitty. My mom always used to say it didn't matter what my grades were as long as I was trying. I wish she were here to tell me that now.
I'm trying not to freak out. I still have a big research paper due, which I will pour my heart and soul into in order to bring up my grade. And I guess I'll have to prepare even harder for my final exam. But this still stings. I know nobody knows my grades except for me and my teacher, but I'll still feel really embarrassed sitting in class tomorrow, knowing that I suck so hard.
In high school I was always the girl who got straight As. Doing so poorly is a new and uncomfortable feeling for me. I feel like I'm letting myself down as well as my family. I really, really just want to make this right.
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