The Audacity of Hope

I'm a big political junkie, so I have watched CNN religiously the past few nights to see their coverage of the Democratic National Convention. Tonight's the big night, though--when Barack Obama gives his speech.

I got his book, The Audacity of Hope, a few years ago for Christmas. I feel in love with his writing--so powerful and majestic. When he announced he was running for president, I was thrilled. Since then, I've watched with bated breath to see the results of the primaries, to see how he did in the debates, to see how much money he's earned. Now he's the official Democratic nominee, and is poised to become the next president of the United States.

When I voted for the first time four years ago, I was thrilled. Thrilled by the act of voting, democracy in action, but not so thrilled by the candidate I voted for. John Kerry got my vote because he wasn't George W. Bush. When I cast my vote for Barack Obama, it won't be because he is not John McCain. It will be because I believe in him, his vision, his ability to take back our country.

It will be because he gives me hope.

Rainy Days and Monday

It's a nice, humid rainy day. We really need the rain, and it's been so long since we've had an all-day rain event, that I'm actually enjoying it.

It's been unseasonably cool recently. I am more than ready for fall. There just comes a point at the end of summer where I am sick of my summer wardrobe, and am itching to pull out the long sleeves and the darker colors. Plus, I just love watching the leaves turn colors, seeing the sprouting of pumpkins everywhere, feeling the crispness of the air. My birthday is in October, so I suppose I've always been a fall baby.

So, weather, please stay nice and cool. If it turns hot again, you are going to have one pissed off woman on your hands.

Kill me now

So, last night I was watching The Secret Life of the American Teenager (yes, I'm still watching that, and yes, I do need an intervention) and during a commercial break I was doing some stuff around the room. I was in a great mood, and I was singing a little song. And then it hit me--I was singing a song by the Jonas brothers.

Clearly, this is a problem.

I have arrived

At school, aka the place with the fastest internet ever.

Seriously, it's so fucking fast. I can't get over how fast pages load. And this new super speedy internet means that I can watch television online. Over on hulu.com there are a bunch of shows I want to watch again. Party of Five is a show that I watched as a kid, and I really want to check it out. I'm sure I'll wind up cringing through parts (because things are never as good as you remember them to be).

Oh! The Olympics have kept me up really late for the past week, but it's been worth it. I'm so proud of Nastia Liukin for winning the women's gymnastics all-around gold medal, and for Shawn Johnson for winning the silver. And Michael Phelps is a machine. I'll miss seeing him on my tv now that swimming is done.

Flashback Friday

When I get tired of listening to the same 25 songs over and over again on the radio, I like to turn to my own music collection and listen to songs that are older than I am. Here's one song I've been listening to a lot lately.

Sometimes when you're alone, all you do is think

It's a dreary gray day, and I'm feeling melancholy. I move back to school on Sunday. I hate moving. You would think I would be a pro at it, because in the past four years I've lived in two houses, two apartments, and two dorm rooms. Yet I still dread it.

I feel uneasy about going back to school. I'm worried about the course load (very writing intensive) and meeting my new roommate (we've only talked through email). I'm worried about the fact that in another year I will be done with school but may not be able to find a job due to where I live and the shitty state of the economy.

I read a quote in a magazine yesterday by author Brenda Hammond. "If fear alters behavior, you're already defeated." That struck a chord in me. I really do let my fears consume me. Fear that I won't be good enough, that I'll fail, that I'll be unhappy. So I play it safe. I stick to my same routine, never reaching for anything more than what I already have. And I'm tired of it.

I always depend on others to tell me that I'm okay, that I'm on the right path. I feed off of their validation. I never trust myself. I'm 21 years old and I'm taking a backseat to my own life. And I'm tired of it.

Things have to change, and they have to start now. This rut I'm in has left me incredibly unsatisfied. I know there's more out there. I just have to find it. It won't be easy, but ten years from now I don't want to wonder what might have been.

Outside my window are several large bushes. I don't know what they are, but there are a bunch of little butterflies flitting around them. Maybe this day isn't as gray as I thought.

Dear Pizza Hut

I haven't eaten your crappy pizza in years, and your new commercials are not making me regret that fact. You know, the one where the woman pretends to be French and serve her "chocolate dunkers." First of all, her French accent is totally fake, so don't insult my intelligence. Secondly, I know the French could develop a better dessert than what is essentially a breadstick dipped in chocolate syrup. And finally, you suck. Please get this commercial off my television ASAP.

These are a few of my favorite things

I love the Olympics! The opening ceremony was absolutely breathtaking. I was so impressed by the synchronization of the Chinese performers. That had to take so much time to learn and perfect.

Women's gymnastics is my favorite event to watch. Regarding the debate over whether the Chinese athletes are all over the age of sixteen, I must say that a couple of those girls look much younger to me. But then I've always been a bad judge of age, so what do I know? The Chinese are all exceptional athletes, that is definitely clear. My heart broke for the poor girl who fell off the uneven bars. Her routine was fantastic up until that point.

The American women made plenty of mistakes, too, but I think a lot of that was because of nerves, and the fact that two members of the team are sidelined with injuries. Floor exercise was pretty much a complete mess with all of the out of bounds errors, but the routines on the balance beam were all great. Shawn Johnson's tumbling is so solid, I really couldn't believe she didn't get a higher score. She and Nastia Liukin will perform well in the all-around competition, I believe.

I went to bed early last night and missed out on the live swimming. I watched it this morning, and was cheering for the American men. What a finish! It's sweet victory against the French, who were gloating about "smashing the Americans." Normally I wouldn't say this, but competition brings out the worst in me, so: Suck it, Frenchies!

Anderson Cooper is my hero

I could not love this man any more than I already do.

"See you at the debates, bitches!"

I can't believe I am about to type this, but: the Paris Hilton video is hilarious. She delivered her lines believably, not stumbling over any of the political jargon (which is better than Still President George W. Bush can do most days) and she made a good point. McCain never should have included her in his ad. Instead of launching attacks on Obama, McCain should be cracking an atlas, since he apparently thinks Pakistan and Iraq share a border.

The Secret Life of the American Masochist

The Secret Life of the American Teenager is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad show. Yet the minute I found out it was created by Brenda "7th Heaven" Hampton, I knew I would watch. I'm nothing if not a glutton for punishment.

The show is about 15 year old Amy, who slept with a loser named Ricky at band camp and is now pregnant. She's also dating Creepy Ben, who looks like a young Bob Saget. He's creepy for more reasons than that, though. He declared his love for Amy after they had only had one date, constantly calls her "his woman," and volunteered to marry Amy and raise her baby. This plan is sooo realistic for a 15 year old boy, don't you think? Especially considering the plan was encouraged by Ben's father.

There's an assortment of other characters on this show, all annoying in their own ways. Slutty Adrian is kind of a moron for wanting to be with Loser Ricky, but I have to give her props for her verbal smackdown of Super Christian Grace. Super Christian Grace thinks it's okay to judge other teens for having premarital sex, and Slutty Adrian rightfully told her to mind her own damn business. Amy's younger sister the AshleyDroid says all of her lines in a monotone voice, and her acting is so terrible it bounces right back around to being terribly great. Then there is Douchebag Jack, who dated Super Christian Grace. His characterization has been so all over the map that the less said about him the better.

Secret Life is a shitty, shitty show. And yet I watch every week. I can only hope that the teenagers who watch this can mock it as I do, because I cringe to think that anyone believes this is an accurate portrayal of high school life.

My New Obsession

Doctor Who.

I've never liked sci-fi, but Doctor Who is a show that I kept hearing people talk about. I was tired of not understanding what a damn TARDIS is, so one afternoon when I was home alone I watched an episode. And then another. And then some more the next day when there was a marathon on.

I got hooked, okay? It's a quirky little show that actually has heart. As many times as I've laughed at the show, I've also cried. I have seen most of the first season with Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor, and nearly all of the second season with David Tennant playing the Doctor. I'm now making my way through the third season.

It's not a perfect show by any means. There have been quite a few episodes where I have not been satisfied with plot points. (Why must Rose be mentioned in every episode in which she's not featured? Why is Martha in love with the Doctor? Why are the Daleks so deeply stupid?) Yet there have also been many standout episodes. "The Girl in the Fireplace" was a beautiful and deeply touching episode, making me feel so sorry for the Doctor. He can't live a normal, slow life, because he is always protecting the lives and futures of other people. "Blink" is another outstanding episode, managing to make statues of angels creepy as hell. I'll never look at a statue the same way again.

This show is new territory for me, but I like it. I'm really glad that I gave it a chance instead of scoffing that the show was beneath me.

Attack of the Twins

I am a People magazine subscriber. As such, they send me daily emails with celebrity stories. Yesterday, I got an email about their newest issue, featuring nineteen pages about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's new twins.

Brad and Angelina are one of those celebrity couples I don't really care about. They seem to do good work, giving money to charities and such, and I've enjoyed their movies, but I don't have a desire to know every detail of their lives. Still, every time People has a story about them, I'll skim it and get the highlights.

But nineteen pages of "intimate family photos" seems so excessive. Yes, the new twins are cute, but they're three weeks old. They look like every other three week old baby--like little blanketed bundles of dough. When they're older, and get distinctive features and personalities, that will be when I want to see pictures of them.