Oh yeah, this thing

I don't really know why I abandoned this place, except that I kind of lost my drive to write anything. I developed the space as a place to post important thoughts and remembrances from my life, stuff that I could look back on in later years, but I suppose nothing of importance has really happened lately. I'm resigning myself to the thought that in less than a month I'll be back at school for my senior year. This is terrifying, not so much because it means that I'll need a job in another year, but because I have to write my senior thesis. This is very much a Big Effing Deal, and I'm very much dreading it. I have issues with writing long papers (procrastination is a huge problem), but I know I have no choice but to buck up and do it. But I will admit, it's resting heavily on my mind, along with the fact that I'm going to have a new roommate that I'm wary about.

I'm worried about finances--I've got enough to pay for school and everything, but I'm trying to cut corners since I don't have a job. I nearly bought a new pair of Nikes the other day, because I've been wearing one pair for the past two years. And by wearing, I mean wearing nearly every day. But then I realized that maybe it would be smarter to spend money on jeans, which I absolutely have to have to start school (I only have like two pairs that fit--the others are too big now), instead of buying new shoes when my old ones are still serviceable (if worn).

So, that was a completely boring update, but that's where I am right now. I still have depressive moments where I'm all, "OMG I'm 22 and don't know what to do with my life," or "OMG I'm single and will never be loved," and "OMG I'm so fat." But really, things could be much, much worse, and I know that from experience. I think about what it was like for me as a child, the constance turbulence and emotional chaos and frightening experiences, and compare that to where I am now, and I realize that I am blessed. And I'll figure things out as they come, day by day.